July 18, 2005

i feel you sister

that was for KT who forbade me to leave a comment...so i'm writing a commiserating blog instead...i'm having a depresive day...i'm not sure why....i had a pretty good weekend...scratch that i had an excelent weekend...micah came and we kayacked and ate a picnic on the lake...literally on the lake...like still in the boat...and climbed a big....make that a HUGE pile of rocks...and plyayed on a playgrond and occupied the porch swing...so why the second after he left did i jsut feel leik crap...really i had time to do stuff and instead i jsut went to bed...at like 730....got back up at like 900 when my parents came home..had the micah conversation and the youre not eating enough so now were going to hover over you and nag conversation....at any rate then today nothing at work went right...i overslept..barely made it on time and had to spend all morning up to my eyeteeth in chemical changes...in spite of the growing number of rolls of film piling up and i was tryign to train mike today some...if he hadnt been there i would have died...a door fell on me...same one that has cut me three times...and he took care of the incoming rush for the most part...but i'm ready to be done there...i dont want to be doing that forever...i want to have regular hours...or at least predictable ones...i want to be able to motivate myself...i want to be able to let someone help me...the fact is though that i dont want to need help...i want to be ok like i am on my good days...yup, we're having bad days folks...pretending pretty well for the time being....most of the time anyway....as much as i love her and want my KT to be OK..in a twisted way it's nice not to be alone in my frustrating mood...dont worry bout me, i'm not worth it and i'll get over myself shortly

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