October 20, 2005

painting by Gwen Meharg. I got it from her website Draw near to God

well i'm trying this out for abi...seeing if i can post a picture using the top bar...turns out i can...
aside from that functional purpose, this picture is a glimpse of where i am....it's beautiful and mysterious and full of promise and full of One i cannot see but trust...but i'm so small....and someitmes i feel insignificant in light of the big picture...and sometimes i feel very alone. other times i see the beauty of everything around me and the blessings that i'm so unworthy of. and i'm blown away by the fact that God chose to put me in the picture at all

October 19, 2005

who's fault is it?

i was hurt last night...deeply wounded by someone from whom i should have seen it coming....i have been in denial to this point as to her nature as a consistently thoughtless and often mean spirited person....and i cant decide if i should be mad at myself for not seeing it coming sooner...i should have had a thicker wall built towards her or at least a sharp retort ready to shoot back...and was i too sensitive....did i misinterpret what she meant....am i dwelling on it too much...well at any rate that's why i have this thing...to get that sort of thing out.....
and maybe i want to be mad at the other people in the room....becasue no one said anything....of course they all had reasons....the foremost probably being that since it wasnt their most vulnerable spot she hit, they probably didnt realize just how deep that wound would get....but those guys know me pretty well...do i hide my deepest fears that deep, that well that tehy really couldnt tell....i cant blame them i guess it was a offhand comment that jsut happened to hit deep when no one was looking....
and i know that she doesnt know me that well....she gust got in a lucky shot.....but really i want to be mad at her....for being a snot.....among a myriad of other things that i jsut wont go into becasue i dont want to go to her level...and for that reason i'm going to drop this and let the wound heal over...casue tha's how God designed us..to be tough and to heal...but i have learned my lesson...next time i'll keep my defenses up....

October 5, 2005

Much thanks to Alison from the third west whom i love
Leave your name and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

PS....puppy pics are up just click the my pictures link to the right....also Ami has some on her flikr account too