there are no lifeguards in the gene pool

this is an overheard conversation with my dad in the basement stair well...my dad is standing on one foot on a small chair using a hand drill over his head....
mom: what are you doing?
Dad: hanging the smoke detector.
mom: why are you doing it with power tools?
Dad: i'm not using power tools.
mom: well why are you using hand tools?
Dad: i had to put plugs in the holes, and now i am putting small holes in the plugs...when it came out of the wall it was becasue the screws pulled out
mom: when did the smoke detector come down?
Dad: when i pulled on it.


lest you think my mother is the sane one this conversation takes place in the laundry room. the high school band is goign to Cleveland this weekend. i am measuring laundry detergent

Me: And I don’t see how you could ever be anything but mine
Mom: What’s that from
Me: That song about Cleveland, I sing it every chance I get whenever someone mentions cleveland
Mom:I thought it only had one line
Me:no it has three
Mom:what are they?
Me: 3-4-5
Mom:what?
Me: I don’t know what they mean

some where around the time my mom said "i thought it only had 3 lines" i switched my end of the conversation from music to the laundry detergent measuring cup.


NOW DO YOU SEE WHY THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ME!!!