my roomate...she will be my roomate forever till one of us finds a permanent one(i.e.male) ...anyway, she's a smart insightful person. She understands dreams. not liek she can interpret and predict years of famine from cows eating each other, but liekthe kind you dream with your eyes wide open the kind that ignite your passions and make you want to stop what youre doing and do that thing. I struggel at times with a weird form of dream elitism. you see, i want to change the world, and i cant understand people who dont. i understand that this is a problem but look what my insightful wonderful roomate had to say in ehr blog:

Can dreams be too small?
I've been thinking alot about dreams recently.
More specifically i've been thinking about the size of dreams.
Some people think that you can dream to small.
I disagree I don't think you can dream too big nor too small.
A dream is your hearts desire and how can that be measured?
For example, if your dream is to work at starbucks for a time
and that dream makes you come alive and gives you a charge
How is that too be small?
If something that makes you come alive and
something that you are passionate about
how can that be too small?
Don't get me wrong...
I do think you can not live up to your potential.
If you want to work at starbucks because
you are afraid of what your heart is telling you well that's just silly
Listen to your heart


Preach it Sister!

Man, That DJ made my day!

Today is beautiful. The sun is shining and even though there’s snow on the ground the air isn’t that cold. I worked my favorite shift 7-330. so that when I got off work the sun was still out. So I rolled my windows down, put my hat on (it’s not that warm yet:) and turned up the bass. There is nothing that makes me feel better than sunshine, the windows down and the radio up! Today’s bass of choice was Trancefusions, a CD my un-official Brother mixed. It’s really a neat thing that he does…that whole DJ thing, who’dve thought that back in 11th grade:) anyway it’s the song that says I’m aliiiiiiive! Over and over and then theres this really upbeat/intense part that if you don’t want to dance to that you must be dead!
I need that today…there’s some rough stuff going on in other’s lives that I’m listening to and trying to just be support…pray for me and for them…I am not giving details it’s not my place….it’s been a rough week, but this afternoon, MAN, THAT DJ MADE MY DAY!!

random thoughts

my schedule is obscenely off kilter. today i slept till 930AM went to work at 11AM worked till 740PM (thanks Jessica*biting sarcasm*) went to Bible study after that and then came home at like 9 had pasta and a pork chop (i was hungry for pasta at 9 PM folks!) it's midnight and i'm not tired...being sick and work and bad decisions and other things out of my control have thrown me so far off...i'm on College time again...why am i not tired at normal times....why dont i eat at normal times....why am i turnign into a light sleeper?!.....i'm obsessing i know...

btw i think i might be a fan. i'm not ready to talk aobut it...jsut yet....but yeah.

also, my fanness does not extend to my job. it is a job. they pay me. i work with a bunch of crazies. not a weird as the ones my mom works with, but still either crazy or bitter or i'm not sure i even have a word for what..... but it is work and it is nice to be working. i need new kahki pants. i sat in something last night. the stain and i are fighting it out. the stain is winning. I wore ami's pants today. we have differnt size butts. that's all on the topic of my butt. praise the Lord i do not work tomorrow

on another random note, love hurts. i'm not talkign romance here. i'm talking love. like the i'm commited to you for the rest of my life. you are my friend and i love you no matter what you do, and sometimes that means that i have to say or do what's right even though you dont want me to. and that means that you have the power to hurt me like no one else in the world. but i will still love you

and on names. i like them. i like different ones. i like ones with meaning. i love mine. 'Resurection Full of Grace Keeper of a safe place" it's liek celebrating Easter anytime someone says my name!!

contrastingly, why do my doodles look like hell? literally. like flames. i used to doodle flowers and swirleys. i dont mean it to be flames, but it does look like it.

a thought i have had in the past and stole from some Asburians Xanga "Why is it that girls in Christian colleges dress like something on the dessert menu but get mad when a guy wants to place an order?" Screw your heads on ladies and fly right


AND WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AM I NOT TIRED... This is the Second Night in a Row!!

my my, look at the time

it is 3 in the AM. i do not know why i am up. i am now going to bed. i just thought you should know that my sleeping pattern has been all thrown off by work and sickness and other occurences beyond my control. good night.
oh, and if you talk to abi, her fish died, for real this time. be nice to her.

a date!

i went on a date tonight. My unofficial brother set us up. i had fun. there was food and ice skating and he can stand on skates by himslef. We were both wearing pink, his shirt was rasberry little plaid and it looked nice on him. my sweater was a lighter shade and i looked hot! (but they were BOTH PINK!!) we got to talk and i got to know him better. he has quite a sense of humor or sarcasm or something i enjoy it, but i jsut simply can NOT tell when hes serious...really, i DO know thoureau is dead but he's the English major, i....i dunno...he somehow made me doubt myself....ok i'm just dumb:), but i will eventually figure out how to tell when he's being serious and when he's being silly. i like him both ways, i would jsut like to figure out which is which. we talked about calling and dreams and hymns versus choruses and dynamite and the problems with kids these days...and there you go. i'm happy. it was more than worht all the driving. it woudl have been worth it even if he hadnt insisted on paying for my gas. again, i'm happy. life is good. Good night

Happy Valentines day

Yay for valentines day.*sarcasm* It was Noffy outside and I am grumpy.
I was wearing pink this morning. I was wearing makeup that would match a pink shirt. I was darn cute my ponytail had a little lace bow and my earrings were sparkly and my necklace was a heart. I looked good. I have to say it myself, no one else did.
I drove to Seven Fields for work. They told me to go back to Mars and wear a navy blue shirt. I drove back from whence I came and my makeup did not match my outfit anymore. I now looked ridiculous. I stood for 8 hours behind a counter in Mars next to an open door.….and HOW ON GOD”S GREEN EARTH am I supposed to know if they have shoe polish or where the dumb things that are advertised are. Why are people mean. I ache all over. I quit. I feel as though I have been hit by a truck. My family has this stomach flu. I have a mild case. I am still miserable. Today I’m going to shower and go to bed early after watching a movie with my sister & mom.

why cant i type the word "just", it always comes out "jsut"

jsut a quick thought. i can not claim this thought as my own. i will not link to the original blog that brought this problem to my attention as it is full of not nice things about people in specific and society in general and more than a few swear words. i do not want to promote it, i do not want to plagarize either. suffice to say the idea is not mine....but i like the idea and think that it should be brought to public attention!!
why arent encyclopedias getting bigger? the encyclopedia from 2004 in Asbury's Library is no bigger than the one from 1984 in my basement! "THEY" (whoever they may be) are leaving things out....history and new discoveries are made daily yet the most trusted compilation of facts and history is NOT GROWING!....one can only assume that information disappears every year. what important facts are we loosing?! and who gets to choose?!...WE THE PEOPLE should get a say in this matter...before important, valuable, and even trivial facts are lost forever!
write your congressman...and your librarian...and your publisher!!

(and then comment on my blog...not that it will change anyhting, i just like comments:)

JOBS

in case you were wondering which i know you are not, you'd rather read my rants or bizarre thoughts than boring details of my job search...but just in case you were wondering read on:

ok, so i'm an eckerd pharmacy employee. $6.25 at the front counter 35-38 hours a week. starting thursday. Sigh

also i heard from OMS Headquarters today i have a few more forms to fil out and send in a a few people to remind to send references.

and i saw an interesting opportunity with YFC that i'm looking into...if anyone knows anything about Slovakia let me know

AND i've gotten and am filling out an application for Samaratins purse.



I came to a point where my deisres crystalized adn i said, "Stas, why are you looking at churches. you want to do missions. DUH!" so we'll see



that's a bout it



getting off line now



pray for me and let me know how i can pray for you