the truth

how are you?...that's a question i'm hearing a lot....so here's the whole truth.....the things i will probly never tell you if you ask in person.....

my bruises are fading...the mark on my neck is almost gone....and Alex is home....but my heart still hurts.....and i still dont have much to say to God...."thank You and please make Alex all the way better and why do I still hurt and where were You?"....that's all i can think of to say....I know the truths....i jsut cant feel them now....and tha'ts me being real....

I will be ok but it'll just take time...but in the meantime, i wander around a mess of raging emotions....and i forget what i was doing....and i do escapist things rather than productive ones....and i annoy my mother...and i fight with my sister....and sometimes i find a quiet place to just cry...

so there....tha'ts how i'm doing.... inside, i'm struggling and questioning and hurting in ways i cant begin to explain...and that's the real truth....but on the outside i'm jsut gonna keep pretending...and eventually the hurt will leave